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Monday, October 5, 2009

Theta Performance

fromSasha Kaun
dateThu, Sep 24, 2009 at 3:29 PM
subjectTheta Performance

Hello Zoe,

I am writing to confirm my performance scheduled for Friday, October 23 at 2pm at the Kappa Alpha Theta house at the University of Michigan. I will arrive around 1pm and will need a enclosed area for my donkey while I prepare for the performance. Any fenced-in area or medium sized room will work. He is usually well behaved and his defecation rate is less than 20% indoors.

Please let me know if you want my 4 hour performance or my 2 hour performance so I can prepare accordingly. Again, my 4 hour performance involves me standing on my donkey, Kanye (also an ass), while he walks around in a series of repeating shapes such as circle, figure 8, and rhombus. During this time I will be singing "We Built this City" repeatedly while juggling 3 octopus and balancing a 7 layer cake on my head. After the performance, I will encourage you and your sisters to celebrate with me by eating the cake.

Again, the 2 hour performance is also good and bangs in much more action into a smaller time frame. In the 2 hour performance I plan to balance myself upside down on Kanye with one hand and using my other hand and 2 feet to juggle 4 soccer balls. I will also be singing "Who let the dogs out?" the entire performance. It is quite incredible. During this performance I am also able to do keg stands so please have some beer on tap if this is allowed.

Please let me know as soon as possible whether you want the 2 hour performance or the 4 hour performance so I can prepare accordingly.

Thank you and I look forward to hearing from you,

toSasha Kaun
dateThu, Sep 24, 2009 at 3:32 PM
subjectRe: Theta Performance

Hi Sasha,

I am not aware of any performance that was scheduled.

Sorry for the confusion,

Sent via BlackBerry by AT&T

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