Traveler Motel

from	Sasha Kaun
to		Stay@travelermotel.net
date		Fri, Apr 10, 2009 at 12:14 PM
subject		Traveler Motel

Hello,

I will be visiting Huron, South Dakota in several months and would like to book a reservation at the Traveler Motel for June 4 and 5. However, before I book my visit, I want to make sure my party will be accommodated. I will be traveling with my wife. Will she be allowed to stay in the hotel? Do not worry, she will remain in her cage the entire stay so there is no potential for her to be wandering the hotel or using the amenities. I will personally be in possession of the key during my entire visit. I do not want trouble for myself, so I wanted to get your permission before booking my reservation.

I look forward to hearing from you.

Thanks,
Sasha Kaun

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	from	travelermotel@midconetwork.com
to		Sasha Kaun
date		Sun, Apr 12, 2009 at 11:28 AM
subject		Re: Traveler Motel

Hello, We are not able to accomodate your stay. It sounds like you should inquire elsewhere for lodgings for yourself and your wife, whatever she might be.We do not provide lodging for any type of persons or animals that require to be caged for any amount of time. There may be another Motel in Huron that can meet your needs, look elswhere, and GOOD LUCK. Owners of Traveler Motel.

New Saratoga Restaurant

from	Sasha Kaun
to		cpage@saratoga.ca.us
date		Wed, Apr 8, 2009 at 10:15 AM
subject		New Saratoga Restaurant

Hello Mayor Page,

I am looking to start a new restaurant in Saratoga, California. I feel there is a big need for an old fashioned diner in Saratoga and I have the capital and resources to fill this need. I also have experience in the restaurant industry as I worked at a Pizza Hut in high school. I also know someone who went to culinary school.

The name of my restaurant will be Saratoga Town Diner. It will pride itself on price, menu variety, proximity, ambiance, and service. There is not a restuarant tournament that STD will not win. The restaurant will be decorated with Saratoga history and pride. However, the food will be what keeps people coming back. I will have the best seafood around. I plan to have the best crabs in the state. It will be so good I want people to people to feel like they have been infected with STD bliss. I think customers will be very loyal even until an old age. I want them to feel like they have to have STD for life. Young persons, families, senior citizens. Everyone will want to visit Saratoga Town Diner. Our slogan will be, "If you are looking for a good time, come have STD!" However, please keep in mind that this is a family oriented restaurant. I will not tolerate any funny business.

What do you think of this idea? I have already created a business plan. Please let me know what I need to do to start my restaurant.

Thanks,
Sasha

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	from	Chuck Page
to		Sasha Kaun
date		Wed, Apr 8, 2009 at 12:09 PM
subject		RE: New Saratoga Restaurant

Sasha, thank you for your message. Saratoga is looking for new businesses to come into our town, and there has been demand for a family restaurant. I think that you might want to rethink the name, for "STD" has a very negative connotation.

Please contact our Community Development Department at 408-868-1222 for information on the process of filing plans and getting a permit. You may also walk-in and ask questions of the CDD during their counter hours are 7:30AM-12N M-F. City offices, including the CDD, are closed every other Friday, so I suggest that you call first if you plan on coming in on a Friday.

What kind of cured meats do you plan on serving? I suspect that there may be a great demand for cured meat if you open up the diner as you have described.

Thank you,

Chuck Page

Mayor

City of Saratoga

13777 Fruitvale Ave

Saratoga, CA 95070

(408) 257-9334 office

Do I Need A Permit For This?

from	Sasha Kaun
to		risham@co.marion.or.us
date		Wed, Apr 8, 2009 at 11:07 AM
subject		Do I Need A Permit For This?

Hello Sheriff Isham,

I am writing this to verify that I do not need a license or permit. What I want to do is to carry around a water gun with me at all times. When I become annoyed with people, I will shoot them in the face. This gun does NOT shoot BULLETS! It merely shoots WATER. It is merely a WATER GUN. This is why I am verifying that I do not need a license or permit. I do not want to go to jail again. It is not a very pleasant place and I already have a wife.

Examples of things that will cause me to shoot people in the face in my water gun:
Cutting in line at McDonalds
Trying to show me wallet pictures of their children.
Asking me about the weather (This is when I squirt them and shout, "RAINY!")
Telling me their opinion about everything
Putting on more makeup than a clown
Putting in hair extensions at a holiday party

Examples of places that I may shoot people with water:
McDonalds
The laundry mat
Church
Weddings
Basketball games
PTO meetings

Please let me know that this is 1) Legal and 2) Legal without a license or permit. I want to get to venting my frustrations as soon as possible.

Thanks,
Sasha

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from	Russ Isham
to		Sasha Kaun
date		Wed, Apr 8, 2009 at 12:52 PM
subject		Re: Do I Need A Permit For This?

Sasha, I can't tell if you are serious or just playing around. It was a
funny request. It is legal to carry a water gun, however, shooting
people with it could be considered harassment and you could be arrested
under the circumstances in which you describe. This is not to mention
the obvious safety concerns this poses.

I would highly recommend against such actions, and suggest you find an
alternative to your frustrations.

Thanks for the inquiry.



Sheriff Russ Isham
503-588-7971
risham@co.marion.or.us

Rhode Island Suggestion

From: Sasha Kaun <sasha.kaun24@gmail.com>
Subject: Rhode Island Suggestion
To: sen-dipalma@rilin.state.ri.us
Date: Monday, March 30, 2009, 3:28 PM

Senator Dipalma,

I love Rhode Island with all my heart. I have lived here my whole life. I never want to leave. However, can I make one minor suggestion? My friends that live in other states are always making fun of me for living in the smallest state. When I try to tell them that size does not matter, they just laugh at me. I love Rhode Island, but I am not sure how much more badgering I can take.

My suggestion: Buy 946 square miles from Montana. By my calculation, we would then pass Delaware in size making them the smallest state. I do not think Montana would even notice. It is such a big state. I think they could overcome this loss of land. I believe that Rhode Island could get a good deal on the land as well. I bet it would be cheap. There is nothing in Montana! It is a BORING state. It is no Rhode Island, that's for sure.

I think we could use this land as our landfill as well as build a state prison there. This way, if the prisoners escaped, they wouldn't be near our children. Maybe if we were lucky they would run up to Canada. That would probably be the best for America.

What do you think of my idea? Is it possible? I think this would solidify Rhode Island as the best state in the Union.

I look forward to hearing from you,
Sasha Kaun

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from	Lou DiPalma
reply-to		louis_dipalma@yahoo.com
to		sen-dipalma@rilin.state.ri.us, Sasha Kaun
date		Sat, Apr 4, 2009 at 9:42 PM
subject		Re: Rhode Island Suggestion

Sasha,

From my perspective, RI is one of the best states in the union. And, as I always say, "good things come in small packages.....:

THANKS.....Lou

North Carolina Potato Festival

	from	Sasha Kaun
to		ElizabethCityDowntown@embarqmail.com
date		Fri, Apr 3, 2009 at 1:04 AM
subject		North Carolina Potato Festival

Hello,

I am writing in regards to the North Carolina Potato Festival in Elizabeth City, North Carolina. Is President Obama going to make an appearance? The first time I heard this I laughed and said no way President Obama will be there. He is probably too busy doing President stuff or playing basketball to visit. However, I have heard this same thing from almost a baker's dozen of people. Please tell me this is true! I would love for President Obama to visit and eat a Elizabeth City potato. Maybe we could sell Obama potatoes. I think this would be a great seller. Sell a picture of President Obama eating the potato with every potato purchase. This would be FANTASTIC! Perhaps we can turn the festival into a multi-week long event.

Please let me know if this rumor is true. It is the talk of the town. I love America almost as much as I love Elizabeth City potatoes and combining both of them would be incredible.

I thank you for you time and look forward to hearing from you.
Sasha

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from	Elizabeth City Downtown
to		Sasha Kaun
date		Fri, Apr 3, 2009 at 11:00 AM
subject		RE: North Carolina Potato Festival

Thank you for your email but I cannot comment at this time.

Please check out our website www.ncpotatofestival

Peggy C. Langley

Elizabeth City Downtown, Inc. & North Carolina Potato Festival

P O Box 364 - 507 East Main Street, Suite N

Elizabeth City, NC 27907-0364

(252) 338-4104 Office (252) 202-3127 Cell

ElizabethCityDowntown@embarqmail.com wwww.ncpotatofestival.com

P Please consider the impact on the environment before printing this e-mail.

Having Babies

from	Sasha Kaun
to		jbatzofin@batzofinfertility.com
date		Tue, Mar 24, 2009 at 9:39 PM
subject		Having Babies

Hello,

I have been very intrigued by the Octo-Mom. I heard she is writing a book, starring in a movie, and making billions of dollars. I would also like to have these things! My life sucks. I would like to have an even better life that the Octo-Mom. I thought about wanting 9 kids, but nono-mon sounds like you are a non-mom. I don't want to be thought of as a non-mom. Obviously if I have that many children I will be deeply involved in all my children's lives. I will not be a non-mom! Therefore, I want to have 10 kids at one time! DECA-MOM! I am going for the record. Octo-mom has nothing on me!

How can I implant 10 embryos inside me? Am I assured that all 10 will produce a baby. I am on a strict no-embryo-left-behind policy! Perhaps I can have 12 embryos implanted in me in case 2 decide they have better things to do. What do you think? Is this safe? Do you do this kind of thing often? Will this get me in the Guinness Book of World Records? How much money will I make?

I have heard you are an expert and know you can answer my questions. I look forward to hearing from you!

Thank you,
Sasha

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from	Joel Batzofin, M.D.
to		"sasha.kaun24@gmail.com"
date		Wed, Mar 25, 2009 at 7:51 AM
subject		Re: Having Babies

Dear Sasha:
I seriously believe you are in need of psychological help and should try to get this for yourself. Please do not contact me or my practice again relating to such an outrageous request. Thank you

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from	Sasha Kaun
to		"Joel Batzofin, M.D."
date		Sun, Mar 29, 2009 at 3:37 AM
subject		Re: Having Babies

So, does that mean I should come in to get the embryos implanted? What time should I come in? Afternoons work best for me, but if I have to, I guess I could wake up and do a morning appointment. Please let me know.

Sasha