Roids

	from	Sasha Kaun
to		sports@ftimes.com
date		Wed, Aug 26, 2009 at 5:50 PM
subject		Roids

Hello Mr. Friend,

The reason I am writing this is because I have to do a paper on roids in baseball and I am having much difficulty on it. I was told to contact you and that you could possibly help. I heard that there was a big roid problem baseball, but I am not sure I quite understand it. I looked up roids on the internet, but I am having trouble seeing how they would help you hit home runs.

1. How do players get these roids? The internet said increased straining during bowel movements caused by constipation or diarrhea. Do players just sit on the toilet before a game? Is this done before or after batting practice?

2. I'm not sure I see how roids would help players hit a home run. On the internet it says, roids are cushions of tissue filled with blood vessels at the junction of the rectum and the anus. I guess I could see how cushions, tissue, and vessels would be involved, but how does anal strength translate into more power. Is this anal strength what made the Hulk so powerful? If you could explain this, I think it would really help.

I think if you could help me understand this I would be grateful. As a female, I do enjoy baseball, but I have never gotten into it other than being a casual fan so this is a very difficult research paper for me.

I look forward to hearing from you.
Thanks,
Sasha

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	from	Phil Friend
to		Sasha Kaun
date		Thu, Aug 27, 2009 at 5:05 PM
subject		RE: Roids

Sasha,

Sounds like a difficult topic. I’m surprised you chose to do it on ‘roids since you admit knowing nothing about it, but I’ll try to help you as much as I can.

1. Baseball players have always been superstitious, more so than any other sport. On April 28, 1970, Boston pitcher Bill “Spaceman” Lee had a serious case of roids and spent the two hours before the game sitting on the toilet in agony. But back then athletes sucked it up when it was time to hit the field. So Lee went out to the mound and threw 7 2/3 innings of 4-hit ball while picking up the victory. Lee told everyone about the incident and his roids, and then all of the sudden every major league player was trying to get roids in order to become a much better player.

In essence, yes, players will just sit on a toilet before the game trying to make themselves crap and/or get roids. It’s not any different really than wearing girls’ undies or trying to find a fatty for a slumpbuster. From what I understand, the toilet-sitting is usually done after BP since there’s too long of a time frame by the time BP is over and the game begins.

2. There’s an active ingredient in Preparation H called phenylephrine, a drug which constricts blood vessels. After the roids go away, players still maintain their new-gained power courtesy of this ingredient in the Prep H, so they just keep using the cream. It was likely the precursor to Barry Bonds’ “cream” he got from BALCO. So it’s the Prep H which shoots through the body, and yes, I guess in a roundabout way the anal strength that translates into more power.

What made the Hulk so powerful was being exposed to radiation, which is pretty different from the roids issue altogether along with the fact the gamma rays probably should’ve killed him. Maybe baseball players will start exposing themselves to radiation to become more powerful.

Hope this helps and good luck with your paper.

PHIL