Your giant cock

from	Sasha Kaun
to		mstrand@milwaukee.org
date		Wed, Feb 24, 2010 at 8:05 PM
subject		Your giant cock

Hello,

My name is Sasha. I am from Russia. I plan to visit Milwaukee early this Summer. I am a big fan of huge cocks. Usually, I like to travel to places with huge cocks. My favorite cocks were in Saudi Arabia, Turkey, and several across the USA because they were so large. I have taken pictures of the biggest cocks in the world and am putting together a memory book. I just love cities with huge cocks. Wherever you are in the city, you can always just look up and see them. Does Milwaukee have the biggest cock you have ever seen? I can't wait to see the cock of Rockwell. What is the best route to see this cock? Can I take a train, bus, or taxi cab? I hope to see the big cock during the day and also come back for a night time viewing. Also, how close can I get to the cock? Can I touch it? I know in Saudi Arabia I was not allowed to go near or touch the giant cock, but usually in the USA I could do almost anything with it. Please let me know the answers to my questions as I would like to get the most pleasure out of your cock that I can. Thank you in advance and I look forward to hearing from you.

Sasha

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	from	Maria Strand
to		sasha.kaun24@gmail.com
date		Wed, Feb 24, 2010 at 10:49 PM
subject		Re: Your giant cock

Please tell me you are referring to a clock in your emal . . . You know, of the tick rock fashion . . .

Maria

Maria E. Strand, CTA
Membership Services Coordinator
VISIT Milwaukee
648 N. Plankinton Avenue
Suite 425
Milwaukee, WI 53203
414/287-4239
Fax 414/273-5596
mstrand@milwaukee.org
www.visitmilwaukee.org

VISIT Milwaukee is dedicated to ensuring our guests are warmly welcomed and enjoy an enriching experience in this jewel of the Great Lakes

Pants

	from	Sasha Kaun
to		aboatman@mioffice.com
date		Mon, Feb 15, 2010 at 6:35 PM
subject		Pants

Hello Adam,

Last night, I visited Have a Nice Day Cafe to drown my sorrows of Valentine's Day. First a little backstory. I flew to Denver on Friday to surprise my girlfriend for Valentine's Day weekend and to propose to her. I had a great plan. Dinner and movie (Valentine's Day). Have you seen the movie? I did, alone, because I had already purchased the tickets on Fandango. Is there anything sadder than going to that movie alone? But before dinner, I planned to walk into her apartment to surprise her and propose to her. The way I planned to propose to her was to give her a present. My dick in a box. Around my penis I tied on an engagement ring. So I cut a hole in the box, put my junk in the box, and planned to have her open the box. But when I walked into her apartment so was having sex with another man! It was terrible. Also, I hadn't planned on this so the ring around my penis was cutting off the circulation. It was a terrible weekend, which brings us to Sunday.

Sunday, I decided to get really drunk because I didn't have to work on Presidents Day (back to back holidays!). So I went to your establishment and enjoyed the night. However, I believe I left my pants in your bathroom. Did you find a pair of 32/32 Levi jeans with a Blackberry and a wallet? My driver's license is in the wallet. It has my name on it. It is a driver's license. I usually take my pants off when using the stall, but I must not have put them back on. They should be right in the stall.

Please let me know that you have found my pants and I will come over and pick them up.
Thanks,
Sasha

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	from	Adam Boatman
to		Sasha Kaun
date		Tue, Feb 16, 2010 at 1:00 PM
subject		RE: Pants

Sasha,

Well, I'm honestly left with very little words but allow me to attempt to assist. First off, Have A nice Day cafe wasn't open on Sunday. Our neighbor, Tiki Bob's was open that night. So, I would suggest you contact them to locate your pants, cell phone and wallet.

On a side note, I'm terribly sorry about the situation but, for future reference, might I suggest you leave your pants on when your in the stall of a bar.

Good luck with everything and I hope you find your pants.

Adam

Kefir

	from	Sasha Kaun
to		edwards@lifeway.net

date		Wed, Dec 16, 2009 at 9:20 PM
subject		Kefir

Hello Ed,

I am a huge fan of your kefir. I only purchase Lifeway kefir. Once I went to a grocery store and they were out of Lifeway kefir and I purchased a substitute. Big mistake! Even bigger than the time I decided to start wearing Ed Hardy shirts. I especially love your pomegranate kefir flavor.

The reason I am writing this email is I am looking to purchase a lot of kefir. I am looking to have Tiger Woods-esque escapades and would like to fill my waterbed with kefir. Due to my bed size, I will need roughly 187 gallons of kefir. Particularly pomegranate kefir. This is the flavor of kefir I would like to have my escapades on. I will accept strawberry as well, but I will NOT purchase Peach. Due to the large quantity of kefir I will need, I am looking to purchase in bulk. Please advise me of how much it will cost for roughly 187 gallons of pomegranate kefir.

Thank you and I look forward to hearing from you.
Sasha Kaun

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from	Edward Smolyansky
to		Sasha Kaun
date		Wed, Dec 16, 2009 at 10:01 PM
subject		Re: Kefir

Please send me a picture of your waterbed so we can exactly determine the dimensions and how much you will need.

Thanks.

NASDAQ (LWAY)

www.kefir.com

www.starfruitcafe.com

Twitter: http://twitter.com/lifeway_kefir

Facebook: www.facebook.com/lifewaykefir

Flickr: http://www.flickr.com/groups/1085226@N23/

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from	Sasha Kaun
to		Edward Smolyansky
date		Wed, Dec 16, 2009 at 10:07 PM
subject		Re: Kefir

Ed,

I find it rather odd that you would ask for particulars such as pictures of my bed. Do you often ask strangers for these sorts of pictures over the internet? Regardless, I have already measured and determined I will need 187 gallons of pomegranate kefir. I would just like to know the cost of these 187 gallons.

I look forward to hearing from you,
Sasha

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	from	Edward Smolyansky
to		Sasha Kaun
date		Thu, Dec 17, 2009 at 9:07 AM
subject		Re: Kefir

Hello we need you shipping address and phone number to continue to process this order. 187 gallons would be about $1,400 plus shipping so we need to know where this will be going.

NASDAQ (LWAY)

www.kefir.com

www.starfruitcafe.com

Twitter: http://twitter.com/lifeway_kefir

Facebook: www.facebook.com/lifewaykefir

Flickr: http://www.flickr.com/groups/1085226@N23/

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from	Sasha Kaun
to		Edward Smolyansky
date		Thu, Dec 17, 2009 at 3:18 PM
subject		Re: Kefir

Mr. Ed,

If at all possible, I would like to bring my own trucks to your plant to save on shipping costs. Do you know if you will be able to provide 187 gallons of pomegranate? What flavours do you find to be the best to perform Tiger Woods-esque escapades on? I may be willing to switch to another flavour.

I look forward to hearing from you.

Thanks,
Sasha

Cup Holders

from	Sasha Kaun
to		athldir@indiana.edu
date		Wed, Dec 2, 2009 at 8:29 PM
subject		Cup Holders

Hello Mr. Glass,

First off, although I was disappointed with our football record, I have seen improvement and support the decision to bring back Coach Lynch. Now to more important issues.

Cup holders. Memorial Stadium does not have them. Memorial Stadium needs them. Twice this year I have had people spill their soda behind me so it ended up dripping down into my area. As a result, my shoes got sticky and I got MAD! I honestly believe the lack of cup holders is causing our team to lose more than it should. Oklahoma State has 3 cup holders for every seat and unfortunately you can see why they had the advantage against us in the Insight Bowl a couple years ago. With a capacity of 52,692, the cup holders should fit nicely within the money received from the Penn State game. It will be much easier for Coach Lynch to recruit star athletes if we had cup holders as many great high school football players tend not to attend schools without them. The new endzone and weight room was a good start, but now it is time to seal the deal with cup holders. It has been said that universities are in an arms race to give them an advantage in signing these players. Let's not fall behind. Also, my sticky shoes also prevented me from making more noise and you know how important crowd noise can be to helping the team win. Let us get cup holders and turn our team into a traditional powerhouse!

Also, I believe if Indiana went to crimson field turf, the football team would have a significant advantage. Studies have shown that Division 1 teams with non-green turf post successful seasons far above the national average. Plus, we would be on telly as much as Boise State. What do you think?

Please let me know what you think of my ideas. As always, GO HOOSIERS!

Sasha Kaun

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	from	Athletics Director
to		"sasha.kaun24@gmail.com"
date		Fri, Dec 4, 2009 at 3:57 PM
subject		RE: Cup Holders

Sasha, thank you for contacting me with me your views regarding the fan experience at IU football games. I appreciate your idea to add cup holders in Memorial Stadium. We are always working on new ideas to increase attendance and enthusiasm at games and we will take this into consideration as we work hard to support our athletic programs and create the kind of game environment that both our fans and players enjoy. Thank you again for sharing your thoughts with me. We are honored to have people as committed as you among the Hoosier Nation. Go Hoosiers! —Fred Glass