| from |  Sasha Kaun | ||
| to | info@fwdustbunnies.com | ||
| date | Mon, Oct 10, 2011 at 7:00 PM | ||
| subject | Dust Bunnies | ||
Hello,
My name is Sasha Kaun. I would like information regarding a request for your services (fwdustbunnies.com). Here is what I would like:
Three (3) dust bunnies for four (4) hours. I would like to begin by playing one (1) game of Monopoly with them. It is my favourite board game and it has always been a dream of mine to play Monopoly with people in the nude. I once asked my neighbor Tom. He declined. Just to be clear: I will be playing with the automobile. I always play with the automobile. The thimble is my second choice. I would also like to watch The Lord of the Rings: The Return of the King in the background. I believe we can also squeeze in an episode of Gossip Girl. It will be close to being over the 4 hours so the other option is Stuck on You AND Gigli. I do not own Stuck on You so I will have to rent it.
When someone is eliminated from the game, I would then like them to begin cleaning my home. I have 2 bedrooms, a living room, an individual (my family is deceased) room, and a kitchen.
I have read your rules. I just wanted to clarify a couple of things:
1. "No illegal activity of any kind." - I just wanted to inform you that it is perfectly legal in America for a person to play monopoly and watch a movie. However, if I land on a dust bunny's property and she is not paying attention to the game, I WILL NOT PAY HER
2. "Cash paid up front for services. Tips are accepted." - When I say, I WILL NOT PAY HER, I meant in Monopoly with Monopoly money. This is not real money. It is Monopoly money. I fully intend to pay cash up front. I will also tip. This is my promise to you.
3. "Light cleaning only" - Although most of my carpet and tiles are of white color or a variation, my living room has dark blue carpet. I understand you will not be able to clean this room.
4. "Our bunnies travel with a security person for their protection. " - Will the security person be interested in playing Monopoly or will I have to pay extra for that?
I apologize that I have so many questions, but I have not done this before. Can you also inform me of the three (3) dust bunnies who are the most experienced Monopoly players. I look forward to hearing from you.
Thanks,
Sasha
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from | info@fwdustbunnies.com | ||
| to | Sasha Kaun | ||
| date | Tue, Oct 11, 2011 at 12:12 PM | ||
| subject | RE: Dust Bunnies | ||
Thanks for the details Sasha. I'd like to set you up with the best 3 bunnies for your needs but I would like a little more information about you first.
Are you male or female? (we have bi bunnies is why im asking)
How old are you?
When would you like to do this?
I think this is a great idea and the girls would love it.
As far as your questions, we will do light cleaning such as dusting, vacuuming, sweeping the floors, dishes, etc.
Cash up front is for the hourly. 3 girls for 4 hours would be $720. Tips for the bunnies can wait until the end of the night.
The security person most likely wouldn't play monopoly. They are used to just being in the background and not interfering with the fun unless they HAVE to. It can be worked out if you really want him to.
Thanks for your time. I will wait until I hear back from you to figure out which bunnies would work best for you. We are really good at this so I'm sure you will be blown away at our bunnies.
Are you male or female? (we have bi bunnies is why im asking)
How old are you?
When would you like to do this?
I think this is a great idea and the girls would love it.
As far as your questions, we will do light cleaning such as dusting, vacuuming, sweeping the floors, dishes, etc.
Cash up front is for the hourly. 3 girls for 4 hours would be $720. Tips for the bunnies can wait until the end of the night.
The security person most likely wouldn't play monopoly. They are used to just being in the background and not interfering with the fun unless they HAVE to. It can be worked out if you really want him to.
Thanks for your time. I will wait until I hear back from you to figure out which bunnies would work best for you. We are really good at this so I'm sure you will be blown away at our bunnies.
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| from | Sasha Kaun | ||
| to | info@fwdustbunnies.com | ||
| date | Tue, Oct 11, 2011 at 6:08 PM | ||
| subject | Re: Dust Bunnies | ||
Hello info,
I am a male. I know my unisex name can be a little confusing for folks. Similar to Jordan, Riley, and Felicia. I also once knew a woman who used to be a man. This person was not me. I was born a man. This person is my neighbor Tom. He goes by Theresa now, but I still call him Tranny Tom. Not to his face though. Usually just on his Christmas Card. Please feel free to send bi bunnies if they are the best Monopoly players of the group. I do not discriminate against sexuality. Full disclosure: I do discriminate against cheeses. I don't care for cheddar.
I am 31.
I would prefer to do this on a weekday since the rates are cheaper. Would the week of October 24th work?
I am glad you think this is a great idea and the girls will love it. Perhaps you could poll the Monopoly experts and see if they prefer to watch The Lord of the Rings: The Return of the King / Gossip Girl combination or the Stuck on You and Gigli combination. Again, I will have to rent Stuck on You so this amount WILL COME OUT OF THEIR TIP. Please let them know this in advance.
Your rates seem reasonable for what I would like to do. Again, this will be real money, not Monopoly money. I will be using my Monopoly money to build houses.
The security guard can play if he/she prefers. I would like to play with as many people as possible. However, in the post-Balloon Boy recession I will only be able to afford 3 of your Fort Wayne Dust Bunnies. I wish I could afford 5, but that is not possible for me financially. Therefore, if the security guard would like to play, I would not mind. However, I would not expect him to clean. I would also require that he not be the automobile. AGAIN, I ENJOY THE AUTOMOBILE. VRRROOOOOM!
Finally, I wanted to clarify the potential double entendre in your last sentence. Is that "I'm sure you will be blown away at our bunnies" or "I'm sure you will be blown away at our bunnies"?
Thanks and I look forward to hearing from you,
Sasha
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| from | info@fwdustbunnies.com via srs.bis6.us.blackberry.com | ||
| to | Sasha Kaun | ||
| date | Wed, Oct 12, 2011 at 12:30 AM | ||
| subject | Re: Dust Bunnies | ||
That week would work fine. I will need a date & time before I could confirm with the ladies. Would also need an address and contact phone number.
My suggestion for movies would be none. Maybe some music or the radio. They are paid well to entertain u. They don't wanna watch a movie they want u to watch them.
Look forward to hearing back from you.
Chris
Chris,
Chris,
Chris
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My suggestion for movies would be none. Maybe some music or the radio. They are paid well to entertain u. They don't wanna watch a movie they want u to watch them.
Look forward to hearing back from you.
Chris
Sent from my Verizon Wireless BlackBerry
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| from | Sasha Kaun | ||
| to | info@fwdustbunnies.com | ||
| date | Wed, Oct 12, 2011 at 6:03 PM | ||
| subject | Re: Dust Bunnies | ||
I understand your concern for my finances in this post-Jon-and-Kate-breakup economy. This I why I have decided to take your advice and NOT rent Stuck on You, but instead play music. Do the ladies have any special requests? I have Chingy's Greatest Hit album as well as a majority of ABBA's music. FULL DISCLOSURE: I do not have the Ring Ring album. I can visit my local library for some music if they prefer something else. OR I HAVE A BETTER IDEA! Could the security guard also serve as the DJ? Will I have to pay extra for this?
I also want to make sure that no one will flip the board if the game becomes stagnant. This happened to me back when I was in college. A MAN WAS ALMOST PUNCHED IN THE FACE! I was not the puncher or the punchee, but I was a witness so I know how involved people can get in Monopoly. Especially if they want to play with the automobile. Again, I cannot be clear enough, it is imperative that I play with the automobile.
I also wanted to make sure none of the Fort Wayne Dust Bunnies are pregnant. I do not have anything against pregnant people (man or woman). My mom was once pregnant. However, I did see a pregnant woman at the Colts game last Sunday and her shirt was up and her belly was painted. I was repulsed. It turned me off to pregnant bellies. I also sold my tickets to the Belly Dance Superstarz tonight because I was afraid one might be pregnant. So, please verify none will be pregnant. Exception: If a Monopoly Superstar Dust Bunny is pregnant, I would prefer the pregnant Monopoly Superstar over a non-pregnant non-superstar.
Let me know if you need anything further from me. Ken Griffey was a good baseball player, wouldn't you agree?
Also, congratulations on your BlackBerry operating during their outage troubles. You must be quite fortunate. My advice: PLAY THE LOTTERY TONIGHT.
Chris, thanks again for your quick responses. I look forward to hearing from you as well as the Dust Bunnies in 2 weeks!
Sasha
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| from | info@fwdustbunnies.com via srs.bis6.us.blackberry.com | ||
| to | Sasha Kaun | ||
| date | Wed, Oct 12, 2011 at 6:10 PM | ||
| subject | Re: Dust Bunnies | ||
I need a date & time. Also contact number. I can call and discuss the rest.
Sent from my Verizon Wireless BlackBerry
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| from | Sasha Kaun | ||
| to | info@fwdustbunnies.com | ||
| date | Wed, Oct 12, 2011 at 6:18 PM | ||
| subject | Re: Dust Bunnies | ||
My BlackBerry is not working with the current outage. :( This is my only phone. :(
Will Tuesday, October 25th at 2 PM work?
Thanks,
Sasha
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from | info@fwdustbunnies.com via srs.bis6.us.blackberry.com | ||
| to | Sasha Kaun | ||
| date | Wed, Oct 12, 2011 at 6:20 PM | ||
| subject | Re: Dust Bunnies | ||
It should be ok. I will line up some bunnies for u.
What's the address?
What's the address?
Sent from my Verizon Wireless BlackBerry
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| from | Sasha Kaun | ||
| to | info@fwdustbunnies.com | ||
| date | Wed, Oct 12, 2011 at 6:23 PM | ||
| subject | Re: Dust Bunnies | ||
Chris,
My address is 5810 Meadows Drive, Fort Wayne.
Also, when you get a chance, can you respond to my previous email? There are A LOT of important questions I would like answered!
Thanks so much again. LOOKING FORWARD TO THE 25th.
Sasha
Sasha
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| from | info@fwdustbunnies.com via srs.bis6.us.blackberry.com | ||
| to | Sasha Kaun | ||
| date | Fri, Oct 14, 2011 at 7:46 AM | ||
| subject | Re: Dust Bunnies | ||
No one is pregnant, turn on the radio, no ones gonna flip the board.
look. This is about entertainment. Everything will be ok.
We are on for the 25th.
See u then.
look. This is about entertainment. Everything will be ok.
We are on for the 25th.
See u then.
Chris
Sent from my Verizon Wireless BlackBerry
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from | info@fwdustbunnies.com | ||
| to | Sasha Kaun | ||
| date | Mon, Oct 17, 2011 at 8:22 PM | ||
| subject | RE: Dust Bunnies | ||
Here's our top 3 monopoly players. You can pick 2 that you like best or hire all 3. If you would like more options let me know. Sasha is the best monopoly player and Jasmine loves monopoly. She's brand new to Dust Bunnies.
Let me know and I'll move forward for the 25th.
Have a good night.
Chris
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| from | Sasha Kaun | ||
| to | info@fwdustbunnies.com | ||
| date | Wed, Oct 19, 2011 at 7:31 PM | ||
| subject | Re: Dust Bunnies | ||
Chris,
Sorry it has been a while since my response. I have been in Tulsa for pleasure. This is where the movie "Brewster's Millions" was filmed. Have you ever been to Tulsa? It was in Oklahoma and it is still there.
This looks good. I would like all (3) three if possible. I can tell Jasmine loves to play Monopoly. Also, it is a fact that all Sasha's are good Monopoly players. I'll add that to my "Book of Facts and Guesses". My only concern is since Jasmine is new, has she been properly trained on cleaning techniques? I do not want to have to teach her how to handle a broom! Also, does Marie know how to play Monopoly? It isn't too difficult, but I would like Sasha to explain to her the rules prior to arriving so we don't have to waste any time.
Finally, let Sasha know when she gives the Pledge of Allegiance, she is using the wrong hand. Usually one uses their right hand and places it over their heart (left side). The only exception is if the person does not have a right arm or a heart.
Looking forward to the 25th!
Sasha
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from | info@fwdustbunnies.com | ||
| to | Sasha Kaun | ||
| date | Thu, Oct 20, 2011 at 3:05 PM | ||
| subject | RE: Dust Bunnies | ||
Sounds great. All 3 will be there on the 25th. Should be a lot of fun.
don't worry about us, we all know what we are doing.
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from | info@fwdustbunnies.com | ||
| to | Sasha Kaun | ||
| date | Thu, Oct 20, 2011 at 3:18 PM | ||
| subject | RE: Dust Bunnies | ||
Where is Meadows drive? Can you give me directions? Do you have a contact number in case we get lost.
chris
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| from | Sasha Kaun | ||
| to | info@fwdustbunnies.com | ||
| date | Fri, Oct 21, 2011 at 7:31 PM | ||
| subject | Re: Dust Bunnies | ||
Chris,
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My address is 5810 Meadows Drive, #117, Fort Wayne. Meadows Drive is located off Getz Road near Covington. The name of the apartment complex is Coventry Court West. You should be able to use Bing Maps to find it if you need directions.
I'm excited. I already have the Monopoly board out!!
Thanks,
Sasha
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from | info@fwdustbunnies.com | ||
| to | Sasha Kaun | ||
| date | Mon, Oct 24, 2011 at 11:22 AM | ||
| subject | tomorrow | ||
We are looking forward to seeing you tomorrow. I just wanted to email you the details just to make sure everyone is on the same page.
Tues 2pm - 5pm
Bunnies are Sasha, Marie, and Jasmine
Total due in cash when we arrive: $540
Tips can wait until the end if you want.
The girls prefer Hot 107.9 on the radio.
You will be the automobile.
The bunnies have been instructed to pay attention to the game and not have to be told when it's there turn, etc.
If they go bankrupt they will clean your apartment.
Let me know if I forgot something. See you tomorrow at 2.
Chris
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| from | Sasha Kaun | ||
| to | info@fwdustbunnies.com | ||
| date | Mon, Oct 24, 2011 at 7:35 PM | ||
| subject | Re: tomorrow | ||
Chris,
I thought I had a reservation from 2pm to 6pm? Let me know if this is incorrect. I thought the total price we agreed on for the 4 hours was $720. I am just a little concerned we won't be able to play a full game in just 3 hours.
I prefer 89.1 on the radio. This is NPR. Perhaps we can compromise on the radio station.
I will be wearing my Flavor Flav Halloween costume from 2006. I will be wearing a clock so we can keep track of time. Yeah boyeeee! I wanted to dress up as Ted Kennedy (I always play with the automobile), but I feel the Flavor Flav clock will be necessary for time management purposes.
Will the ladies be hungry? I can whip up a casserole! Let me know.
Thanks,
Sasha
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| from | info@fwdustbunnies.com via srs.bis6.us.blackberry.com | ||
| to | Sasha Kaun | ||
| date | Mon, Oct 24, 2011 at 7:38 PM | ||
| subject | Re: tomorrow | ||
We can make it til 6 no problem. No need for food. Maybe munchies would be good.
Sent from my Verizon Wireless BlackBerry
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| from | Sasha Kaun | ||
| to | info@fwdustbunnies.com | ||
| date | Mon, Oct 24, 2011 at 9:50 PM | ||
| subject | Re: tomorrow | ||
Chris,
I will whip up some chips and Ro*Tel Famous Queso. Have you heard of it? I'm sure you have. It's rather famous. I will also make us pudding. I prefer pistachio. Are any of the ladies allergic to nuts? I'd think not. If so, I can make Butterscotch. I prefer pistachio; however, it is not a deal breaker for me like playing with the automobile.
I also wanted to clarify one more things. Your rules state that there is no self-gratification. I usually get a boner when I play Monopoly. Will this be a problem? I can't help it as it is very HARD to control. Please let me know.
Thanks,
Sasha
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| from | info@fwdustbunnies.com via srs.bis6.us.blackberry.com | ||
| to | Sasha Kaun | ||
| date | Tue, Oct 25, 2011 at 7:59 AM | ||
| subject | Re: tomorrow | ||
No ones allergic to nuts. U just can't expose yourself to them. If u feel like "relieving yourself" just call for a short break and use the bathroom.
Sent from my Verizon Wireless BlackBerry
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| from | info@fwdustbunnies.com via srs.bis6.us.blackberry.com | ||
| to | Sasha Kaun | ||
| date | Tue, Oct 25, 2011 at 1:16 PM | ||
| subject | Re: tomorrow | ||
We are on the way. Call me please for directions. 260 312 9872
Chris
Sent from my Verizon Wireless BlackBerry
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| from | info@fwdustbunnies.com via srs.bis6.us.blackberry.com | ||
| to | Sasha Kaun | ||
| date | Tue, Oct 25, 2011 at 2:14 PM | ||
| subject | Re: tomorrow | ||
Hey we r looking for you. Where is your apartment?
Sent from my Verizon Wireless BlackBerry
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| from | Sasha Kaun | ||
| to | info@fwdustbunnies.com | ||
| date | Tue, Oct 25, 2011 at 3:01 PM | ||
| subject | Re: tomorrow | ||
Chris,
Sorry, I took at nap after making the pudding. I am a self-made narcoleptic. I am located in the back left. Once you turn in, go straight through the first 3 intersections then take a left at the fourth. I am located on the right. The pudding is located in the fridge. I can give directions on how to find the pudding once you arrive.
Thanks,
Sorry, I took at nap after making the pudding. I am a self-made narcoleptic. I am located in the back left. Once you turn in, go straight through the first 3 intersections then take a left at the fourth. I am located on the right. The pudding is located in the fridge. I can give directions on how to find the pudding once you arrive.
Thanks,
Sasha
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| from | info@fwdustbunnies.com via srs.bis6.us.blackberry.com | ||
| to | Sasha Kaun | ||
| date | Tue, Oct 25, 2011 at 3:20 PM | ||
| subject | Re: tomorrow | ||
I need to know your building number and apartment letter.
Sent from my Verizon Wireless BlackBerry
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| from | Sasha Kaun | ||
| to | info@fwdustbunnies.com | ||
| date | Tue, Oct 25, 2011 at 3:47 PM | ||
| subject | Re: tomorrow | ||
Chris,
I'm afraid we are going to have to reschedule. I have Zumba at 6:30 tonight so we will be unable to finish the Monopoly game beforehand. Please let me know what time is available. FYI, I will NOT be making new pudding for the next appointment unless Tranny Tom eats it.
Thanks,
Sasha
Sasha
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| from | info@fwdustbunnies.com via srs.bis6.us.blackberry.com | ||
| to | Sasha Kaun | ||
| date | Tue, Oct 25, 2011 at 3:57 PM | ||
| subject | Re: tomorrow | ||
We won't come back unless u pay up front, give me a valid address and phone.
Sent from my Verizon Wireless BlackBerry
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| from | Sasha Kaun | ||
| to | info@fwdustbunnies.com | ||
| date | Tue, Oct 25, 2011 at 4:11 PM | ||
| subject | Re: tomorrow | ||
Chris,
Please do not use that tone of voice and poor grammar/spelling with me. I did everything you asked. I even went beyond making Ro*Tel Famous Queso. Do you know what goes in this? Ro*Tel and Velveeta. Not ANYBODY can do this. But I did this to make it a special occasion. In this post-Cold War economy, many companies are increasing their customer service. I am afraid with this last email, you have disappointed me.
Please let me know when we can reschedule. I will let Sasha be the automobile. And by Sasha, I mean myself.
I look forward to hearing from you,
Sasha
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| from | info@fwdustbunnies.com via srs.bis6.us.blackberry.com | ||
| to | Sasha Kaun | ||
| date | Tue, Oct 25, 2011 at 4:33 PM | ||
| subject | Re: tomorrow | ||
I had to pay 3 bunnies for 2 hours work and you didn't contact me back.
Those ladies aren't cheap. I will not risk further loss and get stood up again. If you wish to provide the money up front I would have no problem booking again but I can't afford to do business the way it went down today.
I have asked repeatedly for a valid address and phone number to no avail.
Those ladies aren't cheap. I will not risk further loss and get stood up again. If you wish to provide the money up front I would have no problem booking again but I can't afford to do business the way it went down today.
I have asked repeatedly for a valid address and phone number to no avail.
Sent from my Verizon Wireless BlackBerry
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| from | Sasha Kaun | ||
| to | info@fwdustbunnies.com | ||
| date | Tue, Oct 25, 2011 at 5:32 PM | ||
| subject | Re: tomorrow | ||
Chris,
I accept your apology.
I hope to hear from you soon.
Thanks,
Sasha
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