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Friday, April 3, 2009

Iowa City Business Opportunity

fromSasha Kaun
towendy-ford@iowa-city.org
dateTue, Mar 31, 2009 at 2:27 PM
subjectIowa City Business Opportunity

Hello Wendy,

I am writing about a great business I would like to bring to Iowa City, Iowa. I would like to put vending machines in many key areas. I think this would be great. The vending machines would sell edible underwear. Edible bras, thongs, boxer shorts, granny panties. You name a type of underwear, these vending machines will have it! I think these vending machines would be a great addition to the city and would bring in much revenue.

Have you ever worn edible underwear? They are extremely comfortable and very cost effective. Usually when I get hungry I will shut the door to my office and change into a new pair. It is quite filling and very delicious. It is also extremely SANITARY. People assume it is not, but I assure you, it is!

What will I need to do to set up my business? I want to get started as soon as possible. I look forward to hearing from you.

Thanks,
Sasha Kaun

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fromWendy Ford
toSasha Kaun
dateTue, Mar 31, 2009 at 4:08 PM
subjectRE: Iowa City Business Opportunity

Dear Sasha,

(Tee Hee)

Assuming you have done your market studies, and know the market for edible undies exists – and my goodness, with edible undies, you ensure your market, don’t you! – I think we might even be able to find some tax incentives for your business!

We might even be able to find a wUnderful sponsor to Underwrite the Undeavor, too!


Wendy

(I really do like this idea and if it is not an April fools joke, my apologies. There’s a lot of room for improvement in vending options in most areas of the city – especially those in areas where there may be a dearth of clean and tasty undies!)

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fromSasha Kaun
toWendy Ford
dateWed, Apr 1, 2009 at 2:12 AM
subjectRe: Iowa City Business Opportunity

Wendy,

This is NOT an April Fool's Day joke. I assure you, there is a high demand for edible underwear. What sort of tax incentives do you speak of? Please advise.

Thanks,
Sasha

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fromWendy Ford
toSasha Kaun
dateWed, Apr 1, 2009 at 9:01 AM
subjectRE: Iowa City Business Opportunity

Hi Sasha,

OK, now I have egg on face. I am usually the gullible one and was all ready to defend myself in the face of April Fools Day, so the reply I submitted yesterday was very tongue in cheek and I apologize. Darn it – I can’t win for losing, here! J

Anyway, with a vending machine-based company as opposed to a bricks and mortar store, there likely won’t be the chance of tax incentives, as they are paid for by the property taxes generated from a portion of your real business property (land & buildings). However, there may be an opportunity for you for financing a portion of your business through our CDBG Economic Development Loan Program. In essence, the City would partner with you and your regular lending institution and provide gap funding for the business. Gap funding is the difference between what your bank is willing to loan you and the financing you need. For example, if you needed $50,000 to start your business, but your bank was only willing to finance $35,000, we would work with you to finance the additional $15,000. Similarly, if you needed a small amount of money ($5,000 or there abouts) we might be able to make a micro loan to you without your bank’s participation.

The CDBG Ec. Dev. Loan Program is public and as such, requires several steps you should be aware of. I have attached the program guidelines and an application for the program for you to look over. My colleague, Tracy Hightshoe administers the program and would work with you to prepare an application that would go before the City Council Economic Development Committee and ultimately the City Council.

Look over the info and give me a call if you have any questions. My direct line is 319-356-5248. And again, sorry for not taking you seriously at first. It was the timing.

Very Sincerely,

Wendy

Thursday, April 2, 2009

Gary Visit

fromSasha Kaun
tovwilliams@ci.gary.in.us
dateTue, Mar 31, 2009 at 2:34 PM
subjectGary Visit

Hello Ms. Williams,

I am the biggest Michael Jackson fan in the world. He is truly a great American. I try to model my life after the King of Pop!

I am preparing to visit Gary, Indiana this summer. I would like to visit Michael's childhood home, school, as well as other places of interest. I have been looking forward to this trip for some time. Are you able to pass along any information that might be of interest to me and will make my trip as fantastic as possible?

Is Gary safe? When I told one of my friends of my trip they told me it was very dangerous. However, I did not believe them. Any place that was home to someone as protective and nurturing as Michael has to be safe. Please let me know if I should be worried.

Again, I look forward to my visit to Gary and anticipate your response so I can prepare accordingly.

Thank you,
Sasha Kaun

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fromVanessa Williams
toSasha Kaun
dateWed, Apr 1, 2009 at 1:32 PM
subjectRE: Gary Visit

Hi Sasha,

You have a very cute name. Gary is a wonderful city to visit. Of course we have some inner city issues like most of the cities in the U.S. But, we have a beautiful baseball stadium that is adjacent to Bennigans where most of our young citizens hang out and there are 2-3 eateries within this area. Gary does have a few of its historical landmarks in tact.

Please visit and during that time, I personally encourage you to stop by City Hall and get a tour of the City Council Chambers. There is no need to worry about your safety. In fact, wherever you go in this life remember to take JESUS with you.

And if you decide to stop by our office, I would be delighted to meet you and provide you with a souvenir bag.

Thank you for your interest in our city and I hope your stay will be very enjoyable!

Vanessa Williams

Office Manager

GARY COMMON COUNCIL

Wednesday, April 1, 2009

CAPITAL LETTERS

fromSasha Kaun
toCONTACT@g7zone.com
dateTue, Mar 31, 2009 at 3:45 PM
subjectCAPITAL LETTERS

HELLO,

I AM WRITING THIS BECAUSE I CAN'T FIGURE OUT WHY MY COMPUTER IS IN ALL CAPITAL LETTERS. MY COMPUTER WAS SET UP THIS WEEKEND AND IT HAS BEEN STUCK WITH CAPITAL LETTERS EVER SINCE. I PREFER LOWER CASE LETTERS! PLEASE HELP ME! I HAVE TO WRITE MY PROBATION OFFICER IN A BIT AND I DON'T WANT HIM TO THINK I AM ON DRUGS.

THANKS,
SASHA

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fromcontact@g7zone.com
toSasha Kaun
dateTue, Mar 31, 2009 at 4:17 PM
subjectRE: CAPITAL LETTERS

Hi Sasha, I will recommend check "Caps Lock" button on the left side of your keyboard.

Best Regards,
G7 ZONE USA

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fromSasha Kaun
tocontact@g7zone.com
dateTue, Mar 31, 2009 at 5:06 PM
subjectRe: CAPITAL LETTERS

That worked! Thanks! How much do I owe you?

Sasha

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fromcontact@g7zone.com
toSasha Kaun
dateTue, Mar 31, 2009 at 5:10 PM
subjectRE: CAPITAL LETTERS

Hi, you are welcome. You own me feedback on yahoo or google review. Write something good about G7 ZONE. That's all.
Good luck with your work.

Regards,
G7 ZONE USA

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fromSasha Kaun
tocontact@g7zone.com
dateTue, Mar 31, 2009 at 5:19 PM
subjectRe: CAPITAL LETTERS

How does this sound:

"I would recommend G7 to anyone. When I wrote to them because I kept typing in capital letters, they solved my problem by telling me to push the Caps Lock key."

Thanks again,
Sasha

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fromcontact@g7zone.com
toSasha Kaun
dateTue, Mar 31, 2009 at 5:23 PM
subjectRE: CAPITAL LETTERS

"I would recommend G7 to anyone. They are fast, professional and they can solve your problem in few second. Thanks again G7"